"As we reflect on the value of resolving to do better, let us determine to discipline ourselves to carefully select the resolutions we make, to consider the purpose for making them, and finally, to make commitments for keeping them and not letting any obstacle stop us. Let us remind ourselves at the beginning of each day that we can keep a resolution just for that day. As we do this it gets easier and easier until it becomes a habit". -President N. Eldon Tanner
My Goal:
I chose for my goal language and the reason why is because I complain all the time, I can be sarcastic in the sole purpose of being antagonistic to others when I'm not happy. I can be quite guilty of gossiping, and I rarely if ever say anything positive and uplifting about myself. If I ever do, it's only because I am kidding and never sincerely mean it. I suffer from both depression and anxiety and I know that I have a hand in how much I am affected by them in not only what I say, but how I think. Anything that comes out of my mouth is a direct result of my thinking and my perception of life, situations, and myself. In addition with all of this I also can have the mouth of a sailor which has gotten better over the course of time, but I have yet to conquer that habit that I’ve had since I was a child. I hope this goal helps me clean up my mouth, in turn and with that is my sincere hope to clean up my mind and gain some confidence and happiness in the process as well as chance how I perceive my life and myself. Those are my goals and hopes for this project.
Essay:
I can tell you that the fruits of my speech and thoughts are anything but sweet. While I can be very sincere when giving someone a compliment, speaking positive of others or of a situation or thing. While I can teach a class in church or bear testimony with my heart. None of that really ever sticks compared to the negative that invades my mind, heart, and tongue. Because I've allowed myself to become so undisciplined in both thought and speech I have become an ever increasing victim of pessimistic thoughts speech and behavior. The depression and anxiety I suffer take an iron clad hold because I do nothing to fight them. I have intense self-loathing, and my self-worth has been nonexistent for years. One of the most basic truths of the Gospel, the knowledge of being a child of God is so hard for me to comprehend, that it truly affects my testimony.
Speaking about the sacred
While I never speak ill or out of line with the confines of what we consider sacred, there is something that is sacred that I speak ill of all the time, and that would be me. If I am really a child of God, and attempting to be one with the Savior then I am committing and very deeply cutting sin. To quote a talk by D. Todd Christofferson:
"Turning to another issue, there are matters of speech that have to do with a sense of the sacred. That we are responsible for what we say is clear from the Lord’s statement “that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36). King Benjamin warns us to watch our thoughts and our words (see Mosiah 4:30), and Alma declares that without repentance, when we are judged, “our words will condemn us, yea . . . ; we shall not be found spotless” (Alma 12:14)."
The thoughts and words I allow about myself or even when I speak ill of others in the end ultimately only hurt myself and according to the above quote I will one day have to answer to years of thoughts and words unbecoming from a child of God. In addition to what I have coming to me in the afterlife if I don’t repent now. I also have to deal with my words and thoughts currently in life. This ends up effecting my behavior and therefore when it comes to asking for trust, respect, and understanding from others, they will be less willing to provide. Gordon B. Hinckley recounted this story of his days working on rails:
”I once worked with a group of railroad men who seemed to pride themselves on the use of profanity. They tried to make an art of it. I recall handing a written instruction to a switchman. It was his job to take care of the matter as instructed, but he thought it inconvenient that he should have to do so at that time. On reading the order, he flew into a tantrum. He was a fifty-year-old man, but he acted like a spoiled child. He threw his cap on the ground and jumped on it and let forth such a string of expletives as to seem to cause the air to turn blue around him. Every third or fourth word was the name of Deity spoken in vain.
I thought, how childish can a grown man be? The very idea of a man acting and speaking like that was totally repugnant. I could never again give him my full respect.”
Is this how I really want to be remembered in life? Is that how a child of God acts? How can I ever expect to fulfill my potential in life if I never think enough of myself to ever give myself a chance?
Vulgarity
Since I was a little boy, my parents didn't really regulate what came out of my mouth and therefore as I learned different words, phrases, and dirty jokes from them and others, I ended up with a mouth that only a fallen angel could love. Though I have worked hard at times since my joining the church, I have yet to fully commit to being free of this habit. I think this needs to change and to support how important it is I do, I again quote Gordon B. Hinckley:
“Brethren, stay out of the gutter in your conversation. Foul talk defiles the man who speaks it.”
Because
“This practice is totally unacceptable for one authorized to speak in the name of God. To blaspheme His holy name or to speak in language that is debauched is offensive to God and man.”
Complaining
If there is one thing that everyone know really knows me would tell you that I am great at, it would be complaining. I really like to think that I am a grateful person but how grateful could I really be given the amount I complain in comparison to the amount I complain. This is not only counterproductive is seeing the good in my life but it also a grievous sin Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said this:
“No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse."
More importantly the reason why the lack of gratitude is a sin is as it states in D&C 59:21
“And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.”
But if I can remove the complaints from my hearts and minds and fill that with more gratitude then as D&C 78:19 states:
“And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.”
As a man of the Priesthood
Having the Priesthood of God means being called upon to give blessings and speaking things that are of a sacred nature. How can I truly speck of the sacred one moment, and speak with the same tongue, things that God would consider vile. When I do this what I am really doing is mocking God and his beloved Son. D. Todd Christopherson spoke of this when he said:
“You know by your own experience that the world is growing more profane, more coarse in speech, but we cannot suffer ourselves to fall into that pattern. Cursing and coarse language mock God and Christ and Their creations. We must never be guilty of mocking the Savior, as happened at His Crucifixion.”
Secondly I am being a bad example of what a disciple of God is to everyone, most importantly, my children. Gordon B. Hinckley was speaking of 1st Timothy 4:12 when he said:
“’Be thou an example in word.’ He is speaking here of language. I think he is speaking of the things of which I have been speaking. He is saying that coarse and lewd words are incompatible with one’s calling as a believer in Christ.”
Specific Action Plan:
How you will accomplish your goal
1. No complaining
a. I will proactively give out 5 complements in a day to people or about the day itself.
b. Focus on looking for 3 good things about something I want to complain about.
c. Every day I will pray and tell the Lord what I am grateful for, for just that day.
2. No sarcasm
a. I will not “kiddingly” say things to others of an antagonistic nature.
b. I will be honest and not mislead others in an attempt to be comical.
c. I will say what I mean, but phrase it openly, and positively.
3. No gossip
a. I will refrain from complaining or speaking about other people’s faults
b. I will not focus on anything but the good and the potential of others.
c. I will not participate in conversations of an antagonistic nature about others or situations.
4. Only say positive and uplifting things about others.
a. I will proactively give out 5 complements in a day to people who the Spirit informs me that needs it.
b. I will pray for the guidance to see the good in others and refer to “a” in order to achieve it.
c. I will look for the good actions or talents of others and let them know how much I appreciate them.
How you will document your progress and how you will measure your success and/or failure.
I will be setting up two mason jars, one with a plus sign and one with a negative sign. I will place a bean for every goal I accomplish in a day. For every time I am negative or fail to achieve my goal in a day I take away a bean from the positive jar and place it in the negative jar. end I will take a picture at the end of each week starting next week and at the end of the semester to show which is filled most, count out the beans in each jar, and record memorable situations that occur.
Quotes taken from the following talks:
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