Baby Steps into the Restored Gospel : My Friend, My Savior, My Father in Heaven

As some of you may know, I've been on a quest to write about each one of my friends that I've had in my life that has made a big impact. In this post I would like to write about the Godhead that consists of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. All three are as one in purpose and all three yet are separate beings though at times you would never know. Some of you reading this may not agree with me and instead believe in the Trinity which shouldn't interfere with your ability to relate and see where I am coming from in this post (I would hope) so please don't be turned off from reading this because of it. Some of you may be asking "why write about who you worship if you are writing about friends"? I thought that the timing is right because it's Fathers day this Sunday, I am now a father myself which has changed my view of love, and this month will mark 6 years since I embraced The Gospel and became a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

There is one thing in life I have very little doubt of, and that is that there is a God. He is my Father in spirit as he formed my soul and my life before this life here, as well as in birth when he breathed life into Adam's lungs after the Earth was created. I have been privileged enough to see His hand in my life; though it's normally in retrospect but never the less, I've seen it time and time again.The very fact that His hand has been in my life amazes me. I've even seen His hand in saving my life a few times. One time that I can account for and share is when I was a child. My parents and I lived in Homestead Florida at the time and our house was about to be hit by Hurricane Andrew. My parents where determined to drive me to my Aunts house in Tampa, drive back, and then stay in our house to protect it from looters so that nothing was stolen. This brought a great dread in my heart and mind like I had ever felt to that point. I knew, and I mean I knew for certain that if they where to stay, they would surely die but it's hard to explain how I even knew that then. This information came as a huge knot in my stomach that I have rarely ever felt in my life. Now there had been times that I've stood up to my parents in my life up to that point, but I had never stood up to them like this; not only did I do what a 9 year old would do which included begging and crying but I ended up speaking as if I was possessed and was able to be very convincing. They ended up being convinced enough to leave and stay in Tampa with me.

After the hurricane passed my parents went back to our home; most of the roof was gone and the air conditioner was pushed from one end of the house, down the hall until it was half way through our single floor house. My parents came back and thanked me for convincing them to stay in Tampa because they would have died and there was no doubt in their minds of that. I didn't know it then but my Heavenly Father was planting a seed and gave me my first piece of personal revelation and the first real feeling of Holy Spirit. This I know now and I cherish this.

I don't know what my purpose is in life, I don't know why I deserve His love, His protection, and His blessings. But I am so very thankful for every single time He has saved me and look forward to fulfilling His purpose. As long as I don't lose my spirituality, my faith, and don't give up on myself and my covenants with Him along the way.

There is nothing that I am more thankful for or feel horrible about as the marks on my Saviors hands, wrists, and feet (or more likely ankles). I hate knowing that he was cast out by His own people, scourged, beaten, spit upon, and bled from every pore while He took all of our sins upon His back and soul. He volunteered to take all of this because of me and my mistakes; all because His love for me is so pure, so strong, and so deep, just like the perfect and spotless lamb that He is. If you know me or have read my other posts then you would know that I have a past, and a lot of my past isn't pretty. I seem to sin constantly and there are even times where you would question whether or not I am actually trying to be more like Him. Well the truth is, is that during those times I really am not, I don't care, and I end up making my fair share of mistakes. This is why I am so very thankful for my Savior and His Atonement. When I have sinned, or have stopped caring,or have not fulfilled my responsibilities; I know I can be forgiven, washed clean, and resumed to be worked upon to change for the better as long as I come back to Him. I know I can't do this on my own and that's why I am thankful for grace. I know that when I am trying my best He's not just covering me to make up for what I can't do on my own. What His grace really does is covering me as a whole; for paying back Justice because He has mercy and love for me that I cannot even fathom. Now if I could just use His Atonement more and allow it change me so that I don't always try to revert to who I was and instead become something better.

I look forward to the day when I can wash His feet with my tears and to feel His embrace instead of just dreaming about it.

The gift of the Holy Spirit is something I want to have more in my life. I am so thankful for His presence when I am in the proper mindset, which is something I am not very good at. I know when I have it with me though because of how it makes me feel; there is a different feel to life, to love, to confidence, and the ability to do things I would not normally be able to or know how to. To have things come to mind or feelings helping me to determine courses of action. To not be alone in Spirit, to feel Angels in my presence, to be reveled things of the Spirit to help me in my journey in this life. To be able to determine how to bless and serve others and to understand things I normally would not be able to understand or perceive with my own eyes. To have His help to give someone a blessing of comfort or healing when I use the Priesthood. To maximize the callings I am given to serve others. I personally give the Holy Spirit credit for those little moments in life that make you smile. So you take sunset or sunrise; you see them all the time, they are an everyday part of life. But there are times where the moment really hits you and it's more beautiful, more meaningful, and sometimes seems like a glimpse into Heaven. When we have one of those little moments, it's the Holy Spirit helping you to feel a spiritual glimpse into Heaven, so you can feel that warmth to remind you what home really is. I am so thankful for all of those moments I have. Whether it's looking into the eyes of my wife or child, time in the Temple, the smile you receive from someone you feed or helped, or even just seeing a lady bug on a flower. These small little moments are bigger then we realize and I believe that the Holy Spirit is the reason why we have those.

I am not perfect and there are lots of times I feel very undeserving of the love and blessings I receive. How could someone like me deserve perfect love, grace, forgiveness, and companionship? The friends and family that have in my life. My parents and all they do and who they are. My beautiful wife and for her taking care of me, being there for me, and being my best friend. For being blessed with one of the things I've always wanted; a beautiful baby girl. My little princess has helped change my perception of what love really is and deepened my love for others on a level I never knew possible. I don't understand why I deserve such things like going from my parents basement to a home of my own and always being taken care of in the process. For having the ability to take care of my family temporally, mentally and spiritually. For the little and greatest moments in my life. and for being trusted to help and serve His other children.

I am so very thankful for my whole life. The good times, the bad times, the times my heart has been shattered and the growth it's caused; to the biggest joys I have ever had. For being able to learn and grow. Most importantly, to be able to keep trying no matter how many times I fall.

My God, my Savior, and my Companion. You are all my Father, my Friend, and my Teacher. I love and thank you all for everything. I cherish my life, the covenants we've made, and all my blessings.

Most of all, thank you for still loving me, even if it's while I am pushing you away.